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The office party was often a good
opportunity to do some effective networking that could start
you up the career ladder, if you don't trip yourself up on the
first conversational rung. In fact, it's often a federal
employee's only opportunity to get to know, and be known by,
those higher up in the department. Here are some tips to brush
up on a few conversational skills.
In Part I of our series,
we discussed how to break the ice and keep a conversation
going. In this second and final part, we talk about what to do
when the conversational spotlight falls on you.
She talks. You listen. It's an
office social function and you're networking getting to know
the head of the department where you'd like to work. You've
already asked questions that have her talking about how she
manages her dual career that of the mother of two young
children and supervisor of the technical division. But what
about you? she asks. For an instant there is silence. Then you
speak.
Animated and with growing
enthusiasm, you tell her about the training session you
recently attended, what you learned that you'd like to apply,
how you feel about your work and your future goals. She
listens closely, nods and smiles. When she suggests that you
come in to talk about a position opening up in her department,
you're not surprised.
Turning networking
opportunities into job interviews becomes easier when you know
and practice good conversational skills. First, as discussed
in the previous article, you need to know how to break the ice
and get the conversation perking by drawing out the other
person. Second, because an incessant cocked ear soon bores,
you must be able to take your turn when the conversational
spotlight falls on you.
Good talk
To be a good talker, you need to
do three things:
- be interesting,
- show enthusiasm and
- avoid pitfalls.
Being interesting and enthusiastic
may be easy at first, but all of us really have only one story
to tell about ourselves and our lives. What happens when you
must repeat your story an umpteenth time? It will probably
taste stale to you and begin to sound stale to others. Experts
suggest that, when you think this is happening, you try to put
yourself in your listener's place and present your story in
the form that would be most useful to him or her.
Communications consultant Janet Elsea advises we try to meet
our listener's needs with the best that we can offer. You can
do this by packaging what you have your expertise, your
product, your service to appeal to the other person.
But even more important than
what we say is how we say it. Our tone of voice, energy and
pace says volumes about whether we're interested in our work,
suggests an experienced marketing consultant. He compares two
responses to the question, "What do you do?" One
person replies in a bored tone, "I work for the
government." The other answers excitedly, "I'm with
the Department of Commerce tracking regulations on trade with
China. We've just had some feedback from management on our
studies, which look quite positive."
Conversational pits
Presentation is crucial. So is
avoiding the conversational pitfalls that await the unwary.
Among these are three major roadblocks to good talk:
- The hit 'em with facts
fallacy. If there were one road sign on the conversational
trail, it should warn to "watch out for falling
facts." Most people mistakenly believe that by
exchanging data, they converse. It's important to avoid
the mechanical approach of dosing out memorized facts and
instead to share your enthusiasm by relating what you
think and feel.
- The storyteller myth. Some
people falsely believe that good conversationalists are
story tellers. In reality, anyone who holds the stage too
long puts people to sleep. When a monologue is a
substitute for dialogue, lively conversation stops. While
an occasional good story works, too many "that
reminds me of" anecdotes do not.
- The tempo trap. Talkers who
are nervous, bashful or lacking in confidence tend to talk
too fast. Those of us who do this are most often afraid
that what we have to say isn't important so we talk fast
in order to get it over with. As a result, when we're
finished, our listeners have missed the message and we
have to repeat the whole thing. If this is your tendency,
discipline yourself to speak with strangers at the same
pace that you would use with an old friend. If, on the
other hand, you speak slowly, fight against the urge to
fill the silence between thoughts with `ahs' and `ums.'
Pause when you feel a filler coming on -- a pause can be
powerful when used for emphasis or dramatic effect.
Getting down to business
The time has come at last. You've
created good rapport and positioned yourself artfully; now how
can you best suggest a meeting to discuss a job in which
you're interested? You can make known your desire for career
advancement through such phrases as "I'm looking for a
bigger challenge" or "I wonder how it would be to
further my career in that field". Then, open the door for
a meeting by adding, "So I'd like to come in and talk
with you about `XXXX' which you mentioned," or "I've
been looking for someone who can give me some good inside
information on how to pursue a career in your area." If
you can, set a time to meet; if not, conclude with a promise
to get back in touch. By networking, we make those contacts
that can advance our career. By knowing what to say and how to
say it, we improve our chances for turning the opportunity
into a job offer.
Ice-Breaking Tips
- Do your conversational
homework. Find out as much as you can in advance about
people you might be meeting.
- Be prepared to make a
provocative observation or ask a stimulating question.
- Keep your answers simple and
stick to familiar topics.
- Opening a conversation with
a complex question may cause some people to give up before
they begin. Avoid open-ended questions such as
"What's new?" The answers require too much
effort. Similarly, avoid cliches such as "How'd it go
today?" In response, you're likely to get another
cliche that will kill the possibility of real interaction.
- Ask the questions you'd like
to be asked.
- Resolve to initiate at least
three conversations at every event you attend.
Smile, relax and enjoy the adventure.
Sandra M. Harris
President
Federal Research Service
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